I have skin tags, which I find really gross. I get them when I have a lot of stress and they don’t go away unless I pinch them until they die, which can be uncomfortable, so unless they are visible outside of clothes, I generally leave them alone. One of the ones in my armpit got uncomfortable, probably rubbed against clothing, so I thought since it’s already uncomfortable, maybe I should just finish the job. So I starting pinching it and discovered a lump behind it. It’s about the size of a pea. It doesn’t feel like it’s connected in anyway to the skin tag, but I decided to leave the skin tag alone to settle down and see if the lump went away.
Not lucky enough I guess, because the skin tag is fine and the lump remains. So I went to my doctor . I mentioned all the things I thought it could be that weren’t bad (thanks internet!) Like I take care of feral cats, so cat scratch is on the table. I also get little sebaceous cysts on my scalp. I had one removed because it was growing and you could see it out of my hair, but the other one I left alone because you can’t tell it’s there through my hair. I told her that I also have varicose veins in my leg and maybe that was one in my arm.
She took in all my information, felt it and then said that she thinks it’s a swollen lymph node. Sigh. She is putting me on a round of antibiotics, in case it’s an little infection or the gland is just a little backed up. What made me cringe is that she said she isn’t even giving me a whole whole 10 day of antibiotics, just 7 days…which kind of made me feel like that’s not what she thinks it is either.
So after 7 days, if it’s not improved, I have to go back for an ultrasound. I have a feeling this will be the longest 7 days of my life. Considering I struggle with anxiety, I will probably spend it planning my death…lol..even though know I still have too many things in the naughty column to atone for before death is considered by God and the devil rejected me years ago. 🙂
After trying to talk myself off the cliff, I decided I needed to talk about it to someone. I didn’t want to burden my family of anxiety, especially my mom who just spent the last two months out of town dealing with my Grandparents estate and a distant family member dealing with cancer. She just got home two days ago.
With family not a good option (mostly because they would worry more than me), I turned to a dear friend who I knew I could be real with. We got it out of the way in the first 5 minutes of the call, a few tears on my part and a promise of support on hers, but before we went on to talk about other things for an hour or so, we both almost simultaneously decided we should name my lump. LOL After much debate, his name became Robbie after a wine I used to love by Robert Mondavi.
Today I have to go pick up my antibiotics and begin day 1. Prayers and good vibes are very much appreciated. 🙂