How to start over

It’s been almost 6 years since my divorce. I tried online dating a couple of times with very little luck and only one date with, what became a stalker.

I’ve poured my heart out in therapy. I’ve been able to move past the hurt, anger and grief of the divorce. I want to find love again, but I don’t know how.

It became evident to me last night how desperate I’ve become when I reconnected with a few people from my past on facebook. I don’t use facebook ever, except to reach out to people. I never post and I don’t read others posts. So unless we have been in touch, I have no idea what’s going on in your life.

When one of the people I connected to accepted my friends request, I went down this pathetic little road of “what if he is still single?” We really connected on an intellectual level and he was a good influence on my health because we would go to the gym during lunch, but I was married, so of course, nothing more than a friendship ever existed. But now, almost six year after my divorce and 12 years after I last saw him, the what if’s carried me down a happy little path. Until I realized he is married.

I have to say I was so embarrassed that I allowed myself to get carried away like that, I actually cried…which is out of character for me.

My brain then took me down another fun path about of how pathetic I am and everyone around me is married or in serious relationships and how I’m overweight and look older than I am. It was so depressing I went to bed.

Today I’m feeling a little better. My medicine is great about stopping the intrusive thoughts if I keep busy. So I’m off to run errands.

Thanks for letting me vent. If you have a little love pixie dust you can spare, I’d be forever grateful.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “How to start over

  1. Having gone thought a divorce myself, I understand a bit what you are going through. It is absolutely healthy to vent and get all that emotional frustration out.

    Big thing – know what you want, what you expect and do not allow yourself to settle for anything less.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks Vic. I do need to really set some minimum standards, so I don’t get carried away, if I ever get back out there. Good little project to keep me busy too. πŸ™‚

    Like

  3. You’re allowed to vent, we’re only human. One day you will find someone special that deserves you. In the meantime enjoy life, I send you warm hugs and warmest wishes from Australia.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Here is where I would make one of those images with characters to make it look like I am sprinkling fairy dust…. but I suck. So you are just going to have to use your imagination. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m where you’re at. But the love pixie dust I seem to have only attracts alcoholics. So I won’t sprinkle some of THAT your way. But I will sprinkle some plain ‘ole love – gluten free – and I wish upon a star for you that love will find you πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s