Awake

It’s way past my bedtime…1:40 am, but sleep has alluded me as of late.  I should have taken some sleep medicine, but my better judgement seems a little impaired too.  I have DREAMS of Grandeur!  Hoping to get all my back to school stuff done, clean the house, do the laundry, bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and still be the overachieving mom I always wanted to be and all of this during the course of tomorrow.  At  this hour, I’ll be lucky to get up by 11.  Truth be told the day will be shot and I’ll have even more trouble sleeping tomorrow.

When I was pregnant and couldn’t take medication, self or doctor prescribed, I didn’t go to sleep until 4 am, if at all, and got up around 11.  I guess it’s my bodies natural circadian rhythm.  I always had insomnia as a kid too…it seems more normal than sleep and yet it’s affects are so disruptive.  It makes me wonder why.  Ironically, I know why…genetic flaw…yet, I always want it to be so much more meaningful.  Instead of just the copy of a copy degradation of genes, I always wanted it to be so much more significant.  It’s always tough to remember that the madness is meaningless…lol…still I like the madness…just not the destruction it brings.

 

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